Thru the years, folks have asked me what does the “F” stands for in F-14…and what does the “B” and “A” stand for in B-2 or A-7. Well, the “F” is for Fighter and the “B” and “A” stand for Bomber and Attack (basically the same thing).
What’s the difference? Well, one fights air-to-air (dog fight) and is the very tip of the spear. The other drop bombs and is somewhere down the spear handle. One “acts”…the other “reacts”. In the past 30 years or so, those lines have blurred, but for the most part, that’s the difference on paper. However, in reality, here are the real differences:
A Bomber guy comes to your party with a bottle of fine chardonnay and a wheel of brie. A Fighter guy comes with a twelve pack, some carne asada burritos and a thirst for your 18 year-old scotch.
A Bomber guy donates $10 to your daughter’s college volleyball team’s car wash. A Fighter guy offers her $20 if she’ll flash him while wearing a wet t-shirt.
A Bomber guy drives a Prius, because his wife gets the mini-van. A Fighter guy drives whatever makes the most noise and looks good.
A Bomber guy comes to your beach party in a button-down, collared shirt, khaki shorts and top-siders. A Fighter guy shows up in flip-flops, board shorts and a “I got laid at Gilly’s” t-shirt…with puke stains.
A Bomber guy starts all conversations with: “Hey…Great to see you!” A Fighter guys starts and ends most conversations the same way: “Ahhhh..Fuck you, Man!!”
A Bomber guy always likes to do a time-hack…”In 15 seconds, it’ll be 10:00.” A Fighter guy stumbles around wondering what day it is.
A Bomber guy discusses politics, global warming and financial affairs. A Fighter guy will debate who wins in a fight between Terminator, Alien and Robocop.
A Bomber guy wakes up with perfect hair. A Fighter guy spends most of the morning scratching his head, while pulling out specks of last night’s dinner.
A Bomber guy loves movies with an in-depth plot and a complex theme. A Fighter guy just wants to see one monster eat another.
A Bomber guy is your wife’s favorite choice to date and perhaps marry your daughter. A Fighter guy tells your wife she has a great rack.
A Bomber guy reads Jane Austin novels and The Count of Monte Cristo. A Fighter guy orders a monte cristo sandwich, with an extra order of fries, and the biggest beer on the happy hour menu.
A Bomber guy has a diverse portfolio; one that has maximum reward, tempered with minimum risk. A Fighter guy has a portfolio of the best-looking bimbos he’s known thru the years…on 8 x 10 glossies.
A Bomber guy dreams of a peaceful world filled with abundant food and medicine for all. A Fighter guy dreams of shooting a zombie in the head with a cross-bow.
A Bomber guy will sneak a cigarette, smoke it away from his wife, and beg you, “Don’t tell her, please.” A Fighter guy lights up a fine Chohiba, smokes it in front of your mom, who has emphysema, and asks her if she wants a hit.
A Bomber guy will entertain your family with stories of adventure, including the mystical qualities of flying among the clouds. A Fighter guy will drink all your vodka, burp in front of your grandmother and ball-walk around your wive’s new, granite-covered kitchen island, just to see if anyone is looking.
Hope this helps define the differences inherent in the system!!