Do we really have it that bad?

I guess everyone thinks their life really blows from time to time.  I know I do.   How did that dork get that hot chick; I wish I had a pool; I wish Hillary and Trump would be used for human experimentation; I wish I had a dog that didn’t whine at my bedside at 4:00 in the morning. You get the picture.  We’ve all been there.

If you take a good gander, maybe we don’t have it that bad living in the U.S.   We have a Starbucks  just about every mile or two (every street corner in Manhattan).  Costco provides us free food and cheap booze.  Apple sells us iPhones and Samsung sells us whatever that phone is called.  We have urgent care, child care, dental clinics, yoga studios and health spas.  Laptops, desktops and tablets.  We get our nails done, for goodness sakes.

So, why the worry?  Maybe it’s just how we condition ourselves to always want more, though we have so much already.  I’ve told my kids since they were young that someone always has it better than you and someone has it worse than you.  Their response: “Gawd Dad, we know.  Can I have $20?”

I retired when I turned 57.  A lady ask me recently why I retired so early.  Early??  I’m late.  I always planned to be done working for the man when I turned 50…at the latest.  Two divorces took care of that dream, but still I came out of that conflagration in pretty good position.

I’ve traveled the world…seen many things.  Believe me, we have it pretty good here.  Yes, we have poverty, racial injustice, malnutrition,  and Trump and Hillary.  But I’ve seen women selling their children for the equivalent of $5; kids literally eating dirt because they were starving; people so sick they couldn’t stand up.

People around the world hate  Americans because they all want be us.  They hate our freedoms, our liberties.  They think we’re spoiled and lazy…which we are.  But here’s the kicker…a comedian said it best:  “We’re spoiled and lazy, but we’re also bored and CRAZY.”  In other words, don’t “F” with us.  Leave us alone and we’ll eventually disintegrate from within.  Try to hurry it along, and hold onto your panty hose.  We’ll come at you like a pack of raped apes.  Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War!!  Ask the Germans, Japanese, Soviets, Iraqis, Brits (I love how we clocked them twice so many years ago using a bunch of farmers with pitchforks).

Our problem is that it’s so easy to complain.  We have food, water, resources, television, internet, tweeter (twitter?), Facebook…so many, many privileges.   However, never forget that  privileges are given;  rights are earned.  The rights in this country were earned the hard way.  The gravestones of my friends are a small testament to that fact.

So, next time you’re feeling bad, not appreciating what you have, wanting more;  take a breath, look around and smile.  You live in the greatest country in the history of civilization.  How long will it last??  Who knows.  Enjoy it now…and think of me at 4:00 every morning.  “No Thunderball…get back on your bed!!”

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Olympics…Smolympics

What the hell has happened to the Olympics?  I know I’m old, but when did this putrid example of global gluttony get out of control?

As a youngster, the Olympics was an event that was treasured for the innocence, effort and self-less teamwork; not to mention 3 hours each evening of focused, condensed coverage of the events.  I remember Jim McKay talking about the enduring goodwill and sacrifice that we all witnessed.  Unfortunately, he’s best remembered for his coverage of the terrorist attack on the Israeli contingent in Munich in 1972.   That singular event broke us of the innocent revery that most of us had for this quadrennial event.  Still, the Olympics persevered.

True amateurs sacrificed  money, time and effort to represent their countries.  They would focus all their energies on this 2-week event.  The Olympic trials were almost as popular as the games because we all wanted our favorites to make it to the big show.   Granted, the Soviet Bloc countries totally circumvented the rules by paying their athletes under the guise of “membership” in their militaries.  Blood doping and steroids were their ways of ensuring success.  But still, the Olympics persevered.

Then…it started.  1992 in Barcelona.  The US had picked stupid college coaches who had NO imagination (John Thompson and Hank Iba) to lead the basketball team to an inevitable loss to the Russians. However, with good coaching (Bobby Knight, Dean Smith), the US collegians would rout the competition.  So, instead of picking worthwhile college coaches, the US IOC screamed and cried for professional athletes to be permitted on the team(s), targeting basketball to form a “Dream Team” of NBA stars.

Thus, Pandora’s Box was opened; the Kraken was released; someone cried Havoc and let slip the Dogs of War.  Now, all professionals were allowed.  With professional athletes comes the MONEY…sponsors, commercials, television networks, etc…  Let the gluttony begin!   Lest I forget to mention, the IOC also decided that year to split the Winter and Summer games so that we didn’t have to wait 4 years; we could now get one or the other every TWO years.  The crowd goes wild!!  Mo money…Mo money…Mo money.

It started with Reebok doing that bull-shit “Dan and Dave” commercials.  They were two decathletes for the US and were being “groomed” to fight it out for the gold in Spain.  Stupid commercial after stupid commercial drove us nuts.  Dan O’Brien was actually the world champ and world record holder, so his involvement was understandable.  Dave Johnson was good, but hardly great.  Alas, beware of Karma.  During the Olympic Trials, a mere formality for these two, O’Brien skipped a preliminary height during the pole vault competition.  It proved disastrous when he failed on the next height, meaning he never scored for the pole vault, thus dropping him so far down he didn’t qualify for the team!!  WOW!  Reebok was, well, humiliated and furious.   Johnson actually won a bronze in Barcelona, but he was never in serious contention for the gold.

Since then, it has go progressively worse.  The opening and closing ceremonies have turned into a Hollywood Gala, puking forth colors and fireworks that remind you of a Walt Disney orgasm.   3-4 hours of bloated “ecstasy”.  Yea….

The coverage of the 4.3 million events is awful.  Hours upon hours of “human interest” stories, vomiting forth knowledge of some gymnast’s menstrual cycle and how it effects her performance.  Synchronized Diving??  Air Rifle??  Badminton??  I watched the 110 meter hurdles for the men the other day.  7…yes, SEVEN qualifying heats.  That’s 56 hurdlers, folks.  I never realized there were that many hurdlers in the world.

NBC shows “live” events of the big stories.  Unfortunately, it’s only live for folks on the east coast and central time zones.  Because the network has to get maximum exposure for their sponsors, the mountain and west coast regions get the “live” broadcast as a delayed event in those primetime slots.  REALLY??  Hello… ever heard of the Internet?  We know who won long before we have to wait for those “live” events.  Oh by the way, with DVR, we never even see those worthless commercials.  But still, the show must go on!

It’s so pathetic, I feel like it’s a 2 week long Super Bowl….even worse. I HATE professional sports at all levels…ok, I do periodically watch WWE, but that’s only because its the most realistic of all pro sports on television.

I hope these events will eventually implode and let me focus on my re-runs of Perry Mason, Mr. Ed and Starsky and Hutch!  God I’m old!!

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Questions, Questions, Questions….

I freely admit that I’m often confused on why I read, watch or hear stories that just don’t make sense.   Obviously, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I can’t help believe that I’m not alone in my confusion.

Question 1:  Why is there sooooooo much rhetoric about social inequalities involving homosexuals, bi-sexuals and transgender people?

I did some research.  According to the census completed in March of 2015, 3.8% of the U.S. population identifies themselves within the HBT grouping.  3.8%?????!!  Why then, do I hear, see, read about issues that are so “mainstream” within the media?  How can you be “mainstream” when 96.2% of the public (I can do the math in my head) is outside this boundary?   Hmmmm…could it be that the % of HBT within the media is much higher than 3.8%…like MUCH higher?!  I’m thinking “YES”.

In this country, majority rules.  It’s the founding principle of our government and our society.   That doesn’t mean we ignore  minority groups, but rather, we focus most of our energies on the vast majority, while addressing minority issues when possible.

Remember that whole “Main Street…not Wall Street” mantra of Obama.   Ok, then let’s focus on that “Main Street”…the group that is happily heterosexual…though probably unhappily married. ?  BTW, speaking of marriage…I’m all for homosexual unions.  Why shouldn’t they share in the pain and suffering of unholy matrimony?!

Question 2:  Why after so many presidential campaigns, when inevitably there was much discussion on the health of the candidates (we only really cared about their running mates because they were only a hiccup away from Prez),  we don’t hear anything about the obvious health issues of the Anti-Christ Clinton?  Have you seen her recently?  If you think she’s looking bad now, just think about down the road.

Remember how the press tried to toast Reagan for his age,  Bob Dole for his damaged paw, Chris Christie for his girth.  Hmmmm…I just realized…all republicans.  But the democratic party, the champions of the young, aggressive liberals, are blindly supporting a 68 year-old who looks overweight and sickly…and the fun is just starting!

I remember when I was “young and aggressive”, I questioned everything.  My mom frequently said that I would argue with a mileage sign…you know…the kind you see on Interstate 40:  “Oklahoma City  76 miles”.   For some reason, no one is talking or writing about her health challenges.  For God’s sake, she looks like something a wolf ate and shit over the cliff!

Question 3:  Why did the Obama administration “secretly” send $400 million to Iran as part of some arbitration decision within the World Court?  Huh??

First of all…how could it be “secret” if the administration confirmed it?  Evidently, it had to be in cold, hard cash…and NOT U.S. dead presidents.  That’s because we have an embargo in place with Iran and can’t give them our currency.  So we give them the cash equivalent in euros and swiss francs.

“Why cash,”  you ask?  Well, the Iranians don’t have access to world financial institutions because the WHOLE, FRIGGIN’ WORLD has an embargo on those fine folks in Tehran.   So why are we paying them for an aborted arms deal that took place in the 70’s under that great President Carter?  No idea…I mean, none at ALL….until I read…  4 US hostages were released the same day those buttfaces got the money.  Ahhhhhh…it was a pay-off.  So  we’re negotiating with terrorist.  It all makes sense now.  ?

Here’s the good news.  The former Secretary of State of the Obama administration is going to be our next president.   Good thing she’s such an expert on international politics and willing to tow the tough line against all the Bad Guys.  I can’t wait for Putin to tell her to set the dinner table when he’s hungry.

Be Afraid people…be very AFRAID!!

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